In Which a Family Learns of its Desperate Need for a Wii Fit

An anguished plea for a Wii.

It is a somber tale. Our son Liam, 12, comes home from school, throws his books across the floor and complains once again that all his friends and classmates talk about are their video games: scores and strategies, Playstation vs. Xbox, Super Mario this vs. whatever. “It’s all they ever do, all they ever talk about!” exclaims our boy. Up until now, we have sort-of successfully kept video game hardware out of our house. Though Liam will play copious free online games when we allow it – generally “harmless” games that look sort of like old-time “Space Invaders” from our youth, except with large ads for candy and soda strewn about – he can only play “real” video games at friends’ houses, or when his cousins come to visit. When his cousins arrive, as soon as possible without being scolded, he grabs whatever game they have brought and communes with it for several days, only coming up for air when Thanksgiving turkey is served or something. He does play with his cousins, too, a little bit, but always with wistful glances at the PlayStationBoxGameCubeBoyII.

Since he doesn’t have his own GameCubeBoy, he hides out in our basement, watching the dreaded TV, melding into the couch like the blob people from "Wall-E." Back in our former NYC apartment, the (much smaller) TV was in the living room, and we could forbid our kids from watching it too much because it was right there, in our faces. Now we are tempted by all the vices of suburban Maryland, including the basement to which our son descends, out of sight, out of mind…

Alyson and I don’t fare much better. When we do drag Liam off to a swim class once a week, we try to exercise at the same time, but a half hour on the elliptical trainer, while nice, is not cutting it. In our over-scheduled lives, we need chances to exercise on our time – 5:30AM when we get up one morning, 10:30PM some night, whenever. A few years ago, we bought a treadmill, but it broke when we took it with us to Uganda, probably due to a voltage spike. Now with Alyson’s knee surgery, (cue violins…) she shouldn’t spend too much time running on a treadmill, anyway! Our foreign-service life of fast-lane adventure, now stuck in neutral.

We were at dinner with some family friends. Their sons demonstrated their Wii Fit to us, the jogging races, the ski jumping, tennis, yoga – it was the answer to all our needs! Instead of a solitary TV blob, Liam would become an active socially-adapted real and virtual athlete! Alyson and I could exercise day and night, and achieve inner-yoga balance and tranquility.

Also, as we are now planning to move to Ethiopia for two years, starting this summer, the Wii Fit can ensure that we get the exercise we need, in case we don’t find a Y in the neighborhood. With the high altitude, we have to be in better shape with increased lung capacity!

But alas! Best Buy and other electronic valhallas have no more Wiis to be found! Unscrupulous scalpers sell them online for criminal prices, and who knows if goldenfleecestorefront.com won’t just mail us an empty box, take the money and run? Our hopes are in ruin. Trouble is brewin’. Whatever will our family be doin’?

Only one thing could save our family and turn our tale of woe into a tale of go! And that would be Maggie’s Wii Fit!